Amanda and Sarek: A brush with death
by AmandaG96
Summary: Following the attempted assassination of Ambassador Sarek he returns home to Amanda, where they are forced to discuss a future without one another. Constructive criticism and ideas for future stories always welcome. But, as always - Be Kind :). Live Long and Prosper!


Plot: Following the attempted assassination of Ambassador Sarek he returns home to Amanda, where they are forced to discuss the future of life without one another.

* * *

A brush with death

We were in the grips the Federation-Klingon War. While I wanted to attend every diplomatic meeting my husband was involved in. I was forbidden to attend this secret mission on Cancri IV I. In the early hours of the morning while still tucked away in the privacy of our bedroom, I said my goodbye to my husband starting with the same words I had always spoke before each of his solo missions for the past 20 years of our marriage,

"Come back to me, my love. In one piece." But, this time I felt an overwhelming sense of fear deep in my stomach.

I wanted to beg him not to go, but that would be foolish. It would be the first time in our marriage that I would not be allowed to go on a long term mission with my husband and even more so, I would not be allowed to know his location throughout the four week mission.

I reached around my neck and unclasped the diamond shaped light blue pendant from around my neck. He presented it to me as a first-year anniversary gift, and it was something that I cherished and hardly ever removed from around my neck.

I took his palm and opened it, placing the necklace gently in the center of his palm.

"It is not in the Vulcan custom to receive again what was given as a gift." I sensed almost a sadness or disappointment in his voice.

"I am not returning it to you, my love. I wish you to return it upon your return to me" I felt the tears well in my eyes, but I held them back, he never liked to see me cry as it confused him on most occasions.

"I do not understand, Amanda. Please clarify"

"I am scared, Sarek. I am scared that you won't return to me. And I seem to think that somehow this necklace, that has been a symbol of our love for so many years, will provide you strength during this mission." I sniffed feeling a tear run down my cheek, "Perhaps it doesn't help that this is a secret mission and I will have no idea of your exact location for the next four weeks"

"If I may remind you, we have been apart for longer in our relationship"

"I know" I wiped the cheek, "but, I won't know where you are this time"

I closed his palm and kissed it before pulling him into a hug. His arms wrapped around me and sooner than I would have liked he pulled away.

"I must go, Amanda. They are waiting for me"

I walked him out of the house and watched him as he boarded the hovercraft to the embassy. I felt the fear grow deep in my stomach and I knew that if I didn't find something to distract me, I would surely make myself ill.

After a couple minutes of pacing the sitting room, I finally settled on a novel before finding a comfortable spot on the sofa with some hot tea. As I was engulfed with silence, I realized just how much I had missed the laughter of the children through these halls. Spock and Michael were all but grown now, and with Michael in Star Fleet I couldn't be more proud. And Spock… well, I'm afraid I am not allowed to speak of the matter, forgive me, diplomatic law states that I am forbidden to speak of this classified situation, but believe me, as his mother, I kept him safe.

I soon lost myself in my book, the sun rose all too quickly and soon I had gotten word that Sarek had taken off safely and his mission had officially begun, as I breathed a sigh of relief I found myself more relaxed as I continued to read. But as the hours passed Felix's voice broke me from my book, but I was at a good part and didn't look up.

"Lady Amanda"

"Felix" I said still looking down at my book "When Sarek is gone, you don't have to call me Lady Amanda. Amanda will do just fine"

But when I looked up at him, I was surprised to see him look rather nervous. He was never nervous around me, his face looked pale and he stammered with his words. His fiddled with his hands which he never did, well he did once, he hasn't done that since the day he told me my cat, Ambassador, from Earth had passed away.

"What is it" I asked, hearing the sternness in my voice. My heart started to race; _he hadn't done that since Ambassador passed. He hasn't done that since… _"What is it, Felix" I stood from the sofa and walked over to him "Is it Michael, is it Sarek, is it… is it Spock?"

He was finally able to tell me that not long after entering warp, there was an assassination attempt on Sarek. He has survived the attempt, but he has been badly hurt. He told me that Sarek is currently aboard the USS Discovery and is seeking medical attention.

While there is no permanent damage, he will be unable to continue his mission and that he will be home by the end of the day and is under strict bed rest. As the words went through my ears, I could see the scene play out in my head, Sarek on the ground of the ship, bleeding, moaning in pain… I saw black specks in my vision and my knees started to feel funny. Suddenly I felt them give out from under me, arms wrapped around my waist and held me upright, but everything went black.

I opened my eyes to Felix and and his wife, Linnea around me after a moment they helped me back up to my feet.

"Please prepare fresh sheets for the bed, we need ice packs, hypos for pains, and bandages. I know that when he probably comes home, he will want to immediately go into a healing trance, but just to be sure".

Upon helping me back to the sofa, the two resumed their duties while I waited on the sofa alone with only my fear as company. _Jesus Christ, I should have begged him not to go._ After what seemed like hours of pondering, Felix returned to say that Sarek has already arrived at the Embassy and will be home very soon. With that I eagerly awaited the return of my husband.

And so, he returned and in one piece like he promised. I sighed in relief as he walked through the door. He looked very sore, and he was hiding pain. He did not say much, he merely said that he wished to be left alone and that he shall retire for deep mediation.

And so, I left my husband to attend to his healing trance, finding solace in the shower, feeling that it was the only safe place to let out my emotions. I cried softly, as the warm water ran along my skin, and with each tear that dropped, the stress peeled away bit by bit. Suddenly I felt a pair of eyes on me, I turned around to see through the glass window my husband looking at me. I didn't jump like I normally would, in fact an overwhelming sense of peace filled me which confused me.

I turned to face him, through the glass door I could only see down to his waist, I couldn't help but stare at his wound. Located on the right side of his body, it already starting to heal, but there were traces of dried green blood along his toned abdomen. Even with age, he never lost his beautiful toned figure, although the same cannot be said for myself. Sometimes I wish I were Vulcan.

Before I could say anything, he opened the door to the shower and stepped in, and slowly wrapped his arms around my waist. He let out a sharp groan as the water hit his wound. I shifted myself to the left side of his body, careful not to cause him pain. I wrapped my arm around his waist. His finger slid under the bottom of my chin and pulled up gently, my eyes met his and he placed a gentle kiss on my lips.

"I fair to see the logic in you hiding yourself from me when you are upset"

"You wanted to be left alone."

"You partially incorrect. I wanted to be left alone, yes, but with my wife"

I smiled sadly as I caressed his arm gently.

"I thought… for a moment… I would have to go through life without you"

"I concur"

"… I don't want to talk about it" I whispered placing my head on his shoulder. "I just want to feel you. To hold you. To be in the present"

He reached for the soap and upon lathering his hands in the white foam, he ran his hands along my shoulders, chest, and thighs. We gently washed each other and lingered in the shower, holding each other until my skin became wrinkled. I helped him down onto the bed and throughout the night, we simply laid there in each other's arms, there were no words spoken as I let my mental wall down and let him into my thoughts and feelings. It is where we were the most open with each other, it was our haven. While we both did not want to ever discuss this, I felt like it had to be discussed.

_We both know that there will come a time when I will no longer be…_

_No... please. _His reply was almost in a begging manner, but it had to be discussed, it couldn't wait any longer. Times were getting dangerous, and if today wasn't proof, I didn't know what was.

_There will come a time when I will no longer be here. If you wish to find another-_

_That would be illogical._

_I give you my blessing, if you choose to find another. _The words were almost as painful thinking then they were saying out loud. I felt the tears fall from my eyes, he pulled me closer to him.

_I love you, Sarek._

There was a silence in the bond, a lingering silence and just as I was about to speak, he turned over to face his nightstand. He turned back to me moments later and opened his palm revealing my diamond shaped pendant I had gave him earlier. He placed it in my palm and wrapped his arm back around me. I placed my head on his shoulder, hearing the words echo through my ears. The words I had only heard three times in our 20 years of marriage, but yet, it made them all the more special.

_"Taluhk nash-veh, Amanda" _I cherish thee, Amanda

~End~


End file.
